The arrival of Miles! (A NOVEL about holding Heaven in my arms.)

OK - he is officially ONE WEEK OLD tonight - so I had better get this blog updated! Miles Ivan Bailey joined our family last Thursday, AUGUST 27th, 2009 - at 8:38 pm. He weighed in at 6 pounds and 12 ounces, and was a whopping 19.5 inches long! But it all happened a little bit unexpectedly. Here is the complete story - more for my journaling sake than anything else - so if you are not in for a long read - you can just scroll down and see the pics of this cute baby boy!

Thursday mornings have been my "check-up" days for the last 2 months. Every Thursday I would go in for an ultrasound to check the fluid levels - and then go and have a NST (Non-stress test) after that. On Thursday morning, the kids got on the bus, I took Lane to a neighbor's, and I went to my ultrasound. The week prior - the baby's fluid levels were at a 13, and that morning, they were down to a 4! it was quite a drastic change - even for how late in the pregnancy I was. So - I went to the NST, and his little heart started reacting weird (decels), so they told me to hurry over to the hospital to check things out. Next to the car ride home from the ultrasound telling me that Levi had died, this was the next worst car-ride I have ever taken - ALONE. I tried to call Greg, but he didn't answer - so I called my mom. She was ready to come right up if I needed her (good thing, as I ended up doing just that - needing her). I told her that I would call her later when I found out what was going on. She immediately called various temples to put our names on the prayer-rolls - what a faithful person. I believe that the faith truly helped as I watched the monitors they quickly set up on me at the hospital, and everything looked GREAT with his little heart.

At that point, I began to wonder if I would be sent home or what. Then the doctor came in to see me and he said to me, 'Things are looking OK with his heart right now, but given the circumstances of this pregnancy, and the low fluid level - I would hate to risk anything and send you home only to have you deliver a stillborn in a few days". This shocked me, of course, and I was very grateful for his frankness and his NOT wanting to take any risks. Also - I was admittedly grateful for the chance to get the baby out that day! Due to the nature of the induction - my body being "not quite ready" - it was a VERY LONG DAY!!! The Doctor broke my water (what little was left) at 9:30 in the morning, and he was delivered at 8:38 at night.

I tried to go without the epidural, as I have had better experiences in the past when I went without one - but I was just too exhausted - and after 8 and a half hours of those pitocin induced contractions, I just couldn't do it any longer. I told the anesthesiologist how I have had my blood pressure drop in the past in association with getting an epidural - and so they loaded an entire bag of fluid into me prior to starting the epidural. This extra-precaution, however, turned out to be insufficient, as my blood pressure plummeted to 70/30 anyway. What I experienced next was a first (and hopefully a last) for me... a rapid dose of IV ephedrine (pretty much it is the stuff they make meth out of - only the raw, pure, hard-core stuff). My blood pressure bounced immediately back - but I felt so weird after that.

People started to call and wonder if I had had the baby yet or if there were any problems, because of how long it was taking me. The doctor then had an emergency surgery to perform upstairs, so he just turned off my pitocin all the way until he returned. Gotta love being put on the "back-burner" for a few hours! (Sarcasm intended). Anyhow - he did make it back, and they turned up the pitocin, and then when I was ready to deliver - it happened pretty fast. I kept up my record of never pushing more than 2 pushes to get a baby out. (Sorry about that - T.M.I. for sure.) He came out...and up to that very moment of seeing his little face, I still had doubts and fears lingering on the edge of my brain about what deformities or problems he may have. To see that perfect little face and round head and perfect body just opened up the tap of tears from my heart. SUCH GRATITUDE. I was in a total blessing shock, and I still look at him and have a hard time fathoming how perfect he really is. All of those months of worry and concern - and it tuned out so wonderfully. I have to thank each one of you for your prayers and faith on his behalf. I know that God has a plan for this little guy.
Our family just feels complete - and I know that although I will never again go through the whole pregnancy and birth experience in this life - it is OK. I have 6 beautiful children to raise and I hope to be able to raise my other ones in the millennium, or however God plans to have that work out.

Greg was a real support to me during that long trying day - and has been ever since then. He is such a good father and a hard-working man - and I can't even begin to imagine how I got so lucky to have him with me forever. Seriously - I can't put into words what it means to me. Although he often jokes about not liking the "newborn" phase of babies - he really is tender and sweet with Miles - and he has even gotten up a few times at night to hold or change him.

Every one of my children are so happy to have Miles in our home - and they LOVE to hold him. They are getting good at the 'washing hands routine' right when coming in the door from school, and they are so good to help me out when I am nursing him. The only minor problem has been Lane - and this only showed up in the last few days. He is emotionally struggling with the fact that he doesn't have all of my attention, and in fact, he often can't have me to help him with things when I am holding/feeding/changing Miles. It has been hard to watch him acting out and not accepting help from others and only wanting Mom to do everything for and with him. I know that it must be hard to be the baby for over 3 and a half years, and then all of a sudden you are 'replaced' like that. This is by far the biggest gap that we have ever had between children - and I just hope that it turns out to be good thing for everyone. It is what it is - and we just need to learn to deal with it.

My mother came up and then my father joined her a few days later. They just left today. It was so wonderful to have them here.
They were extremely helpful to me and to all the kids and to the house as well! Mom's are the best. Even though I have nursed all of my kids, I forgot how completely time-consuming it is to breastfeed. Miles is turning out to be an eater like Maelynn was - every 2 hours all day and night! He is pretty mixed up with his days and his nights (I know, typical), but the lack of sleep, even for a night-owl like I am, is still so exhausting. My mom has been very good to help me find time to nap during the day. I LOVE just staring into Mile's tiny little eyes at 2 am and trying to read a bit of his soul. I know he is fresh from heaven, and it humbles me every time I hold him to know that.

There are some things that happen to us in life that make us wonder or maybe question God. And then there are some things that drive me to my knees in complete reverence of His tender mercies.
Truly - Miles is one of those mercies that my life has been needing. As I have felt with each of my sweet children....I HOPE and PRAY that I will be able to live up to the responsibility and calling of raising this perfect little miracle.