GAK, TA2, CTR

What in the heavens do those initials mean and why are they all together? Funny you should ask, I was about to explain…

GAK = General Authority’s Kid

     Growing up as the daughter of an LDS General Authority has definitely got its perks, don’t get me wrong. But it is more often than not associated with a pre-paid judging label. I cannot begin to explain how the majority of people in my life, as they get to know me, will say things like “You surprise me.” “I thought your family would be perfect.” “I never thought you would think/talk/act in a certain way because of who your dad is.” “I never imagined you would be so fun.” “I thought you would be much more serious.”  And I could go on and on about that kind of stuff.  It’s not necessarily that I mind people thinking that me or my family should be perfect, it’s the constant reminder from others that I am NOT that sometimes gets me. I already KNOW my shortcomings people, I do OWN a mirror, I mean, seriously, I don't need reminded all the time. LOL

    I think that I am mostly used to people already having some sort of an opinion in their mind about me, based on the family that I come from...but I don't think that Greg realized that it would also affect him and follow him everywhere too. I promise, I am not complaining at all about my family. They are dear and I love every last one of them. Yup, even you, Emily (hahaha...inside joke)! I am just explaining that what we live with is sort of a 'stigma' of being related to a semi-famous (in LDS circles) figure. So when we move to someplace new and are meeting new people, it is not something that I ever bring up, because I want people to get to know me for ME and vice versa.  Eventually it always comes up, and it makes me laugh when people will find out and come to me and say something like, "Oh my gosh, I just found out who your dad is. Why didn't you say something?" Or in certain situations I have even had people tell me things like, "When so and so was treating you like such and such, why didn't you tell them who your father is?"  It is so funny to me. I mean, what do people expect me to do, introduce myself as Viki Bailey, a.k.a. John Groberg's favorite daughter? 

   But...it does make me think about it on a deeper level...a more spiritual one. It's actually a very basic concept that many spiritual/religious people believe in their souls.  Simply stated it is the fact that we are all children of a Heavenly Father. I mean, what if every person that we met, we were like, "Can you believe that is God's kid?" "I just shook hands with one of God's sons".  Or what if we thought of ourselves more in that way? Every day when we get up. Each time we look in the mirror. Each time we interact with others.

*Take a minute and watch this.

TA2 = Tattoo

     I have a real issue with people being judged or left out or looked down upon because of what people ‘perceive’ them as being. And most of it is not so much a 'child-of-a-religious-leader-label' like I grew up with, but rather outwardly apparent things. I mean, if someone smells like smoke or has a tattoo or multiple piercings, people tend to pass a quick judgement on them, and their character. If someone is packing on a few too many souvenirs of their last 7 pregnancies, people tend to pass a quick judgement of  'lacks self-discipline' or 'unhealthy' on them.  Or maybe compared to their neighbors their yard looks a little bit ‘white-trash-ish’ because of the multiple strewn bikes and toddler toys and leftover Christmas, Easter, and Halloween decorations on the porch. (yes, I inadvertently slipped into auto-biographical mode for a minute there!) 

     I remember hearing a quote one time about how it would be if our non-outwardly-apparent issues had smells, like cigarette smoke. I mean, if someone who struggles with the word of wisdom walked into your Sacrament meeting and reeked of smoke and sat next to you, how would you react? Honestly. Think about it.  Now, imagine if jealousy, pornography, gossiping, lying, not keeping the Sabbath day holy, not paying tithing, swearing, etc. had a stinky smell? 

Can you imagine? Seriously, imagine how we would we each smell?

   Greg and I were discussing an article in the paper the other day about a local tattoo artist. He was covered in tattoos (obviously) and he described how he was basically ‘disowned’ by his LDS family when he didn’t go on a mission and made some other choices that were not popular with his family.  I sort of felt bad for him, for anyone, really, who loses familial relationships because their own flesh and blood chose to disregard a PERSON based on their CHOICES. 

   When I was a teenager, I really wanted to get a tattoo. I wanted a little tiny rose on my left outer ankle.  A small symbol of something beautiful that God created, to remind me of the beauty that is in the earth, and in me, as one of His creations as well. I eventually was talked out of it, and am glad that I didn’t do it, but I feel absolutely FINE about people who have, for whatever personal reason, chosen to have one. I just don’t feel it defines them anymore than one’s hair color or clothing or whatever. Just the other  morning, I was at the temple with my two oldest kids as they were doing baptisms for the dead. There was a teenage boy there who I happened to notice had a little tattoo on his lower inner arm.  Don’t ask me why, but I felt sort of extra proud of him for being there. Like, ‘Hey man, we are all trying our hardest in life, thanks for choosing to be worthy to be here at this holy place doing this sacred work'. 

     I mean, what if some of my weaknesses or choices would show up as tattoos on me in visible places? 

Like when my friend comes over to visit me, she walks in the door and I reach out my arms to hug her and right there down the backside of my arm in black ink you would read ‘yelled at my kids in frustration this morning’ or if I am going swimming at the lake with friends, and while sitting on my towel I stretch out my legs and there on my lower leg it said ‘ forgot to study my scriptures again today’. (With a cute rose beneath those words, of course!) 

 Makes me think. Seriously. It does.

CTR = Choose the Right

            This one is pretty much a no-brainer, we all know what CTR means, and we probably all try to live it. Recently, as my focus at Church is all about the Primary Children, I am reminded of  it even more.

   Greg always accuses me of being an unrealistic optimist. Basically, I have a core belief inside of me that says, ‘everyone is just TRYING to do their best to choose the right’. Now, I am not totally naive. I know that this isn’t always the case.  There are some people out there who know better but still make terrible choices.  But I honestly think that the majority of us are not that way. That even though we all make SOME bad choices, we mostly all want to be good, to help others, to be kind, to 'Choose The Right'.

   My daughter is learning a 'quote a day' in her 7^th grade class. They are ridiculously good at learning them.. I mean she has got over 150 already memorized in her arsenal for life!! One of them that I really love is this one… I say it to myself all the time.

“There’s so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us, that it ill-behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us.” 

   Lest any of you think that I am being too preachy here, I am mostly using this as a means of reminding myself. I am as guilty as anyone about needing to overcome the natural instinct to judge others based on mere outward appearances, or of not getting to know someone well enough before passing some sort of judgement.  

    Sometimes I will see people with seemingly perfect houses and cars and think to myself, "this person must not ever let their hair down and let their kids live a little' or 'this person must pay someone to help them clean' or even 'this person worries way too much about material things'.  

    Sometimes when people ONLY talk about how healthy/fit they are, or how many miles/races they have run or how many calories they have/have NOT consumed, I tend to get annoyed and think things like, 'this person must truly care about outward appearances more than people's souls' or 'this person must think less of other people who are not as healthy/fit as they are' or 'this person spends SOOOO much time on their own physical self that they must not have much time left to serve others'.  

     Sometimes when I have patients telling me that their pain is a 10/10 while they are talking/texting/laughing, I instantly think things like, 'this person has no idea what pain really is' or 'this person just likes watching me run around a lot' or even 'this person just likes how the pain meds make them feel'. 

I know. I am evil. I do have those thoughts sometimes. But I also try to quickly throw them out. I  remind myself all the time NOT to judge. I catch myself and tell myself things like,

 'Hey, Viki...just because you don't see it, maybe that person truly DOES love to clean and still balances his/her time playing with children and making messes and just uses their time more wisely than you.' 

 or...

'Hey, Viki, just because someone is super thin and works out all the time and likes to tell the world about it, doesn't mean that they are not spending equal time thinking of others and serving them and looking at other people for WHO they are and not WHAT they look like.'

or...

'Hey, Viki, just because they look like they are at a '2' TOPS, and are saying a '10', doesn't mean that they aren't just DYING of pain inside and have learned how to deal with it the best they can by texting through it.'

So, this may sound counter-intuitive to what I just blogged, but I think we all SHOULD judge people, in a sense. I think that this world would be a much better place if we all started to look at people with a 'pre-paid judging label' on them. Yup, like we already KNOW who they are. 

"Guess who is moving into my new ward/neighborhood? One of God's children!"

"Guess who that person's father is? That person is a CHILD of GOD". 

"I don't need to know anything else about them to LOVE them."

"We are all just TRYING our best here, and we all need understanding hearts to get us through."

Here is my confession conclusion, "A.A." style.....

"Hello. My name is Viki. Groberg. Bailey. 

I like chocolate (a lot) and I drink Diet Coke.

I love my children, but sometimes I get impatient and occasionally I totally 'loose it'. 

I get so tired of matching a bazillion socks and folding a bazillion clothes, that you will often find them in piles around my home.

I have no problem walking over said piles multiple times without moving them. (It's OK, Mom...don't take it personally, you tried.)

I can totally sleep well at night with a sink full of dishes.

I like to watch Law and Order and other murder mysteries.

I don't swear myself, but I think some swearing is funny.

I have a lot of baby weight still to lose, but I am OK with it for now.

I live in the most 'white-trashy' house/yard in my neighborhood, and my kids are frequently 'disheveled'.

I sometimes forget to personally study my scriptures like I want to, so I will quote memorized ones out loud to myself as I am getting ready for bed.

I had at least 5 earrings in my ears when I entered the MTC.

I love to be sarcastic sometimes.

WAIT. FOR. IT........

I play games with face cards!!!!"

Please, don't JUDGE me. And I will try my best to extend the same courtesy to you. After all, "Aren't we ALL brothers? " And thanks to our elder brother, Jesus Christ, for what he did for us, we will all sit around one day and look back on this brief, mortal life, and after a strong measure of extreme gratitude, we will probably all have a few good laughs I am sure!